Saturday, October 30, 2004

three-folded utopian dream

face it! kamu adalah bangsat terbesar dalam hidupku. yeah ... be proud of it, h'ni... at least, i've never felt like this with anybody b4. feel like i could spit on u just right now. belom pernah dalam sejarahku aku pengen maki2 orang kaya gini, bahkan dalam hati sekalipun ... xixixixixi.
this one goes to ... u! yeah, u over there ... hiding behind those rules, those norms. berlindung dalam cangkang sosialmu yang mpuq dan nyaman, bersama para 'harem' yang kau sebut 'safe n comfortable thing to be with' ???? @#!$ hah!
ah ya ... so what gitu loch? one useless anger, i suppose. don't know why suddenly this hatred just came out like this. well, i should've thank god it's over before time.pliz .. don't bother just to ask 4 apologize. it's useless anyway. besides.. it's not ur fault.. if u have no courage at all to fight for what u believe (what we used to believe). it's not your fault at all ... to became such a bastard for me. and it ain't against any law anyway, to take advantage of me ... of my own belief that .....$#@%&*!!!...
bla bla bla ... what am i tryin' to say anyway?
perspektifku yang parsial tau, dan melihat kebenaran itu. kebenaran yang terus menerus didengungkan orang2 di sekitarku.. dan di sekitar dia. that he's not that bad. oh yeah? ya maybe he is ... but unfortunately, perspektifku yang lain, yang (sayangnya) lebih dominan, menutup mata terhadap semua 'kebenaran' itu. kebenaran yang terasa sangat overwhelming sesungguhnya. i prefer to stand for what i believe. though it hurts, at least it my own thought based on fact :logic, i guess.
now tell me, am i wrong? to cut it off? untuk tidak membiarkan semua perasaan positif terhadapnya itu muncul?
berhentilah merasa hampa... berhentilah minta tolong untuk dibahagiakan. berhentilah berteriak-teriak ke sesuatu di luar sana, bout how i've been wronged, bout how i've been cheated. cause it's all my fault. xixixixixi..